My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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