All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
