Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
