i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She even gives head with a lisp.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
