Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
