It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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