I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
