With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
