Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize