I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
she smelled like a LAN party
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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