ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
