There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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