Fine. I'll sleep in my office
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
