Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
it was like eating out sand paper
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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