Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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