Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
