Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
