I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
