as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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