if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
