Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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