We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
