i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
