what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My pussy is not your playground.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
