Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
