Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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