I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
