Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
