i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
