hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
