Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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