There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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