names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
