She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize