doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
