Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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