just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
