on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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