You smell like stripper and shame
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
