I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize