How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
