Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
smell my finger.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
