...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I bet he comes in French.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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