a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
