How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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