So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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