Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
