Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
