on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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