What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
