Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
