bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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