I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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