This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
