Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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