so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize