I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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