You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
