I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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