Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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