I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
