Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
